The rhyme in this poem is very good. I didn't even see that it was liek that until I reread it.
There are two lines that seem out of place. The first is: "You live too far away from me,"
I thnk this would be benefitted if you took out the "too".
The second is: "I fear that I shall go insane." This is in a completely different voice from the rest of the poem. It also breaks the rhyming structure, unless you pronounce "again" like "a gain". I would recommend deleting this line entirely. In the beginning of the verse, you have some musings on goodbyes, and you could replace that line with something more in vein with the rest of the verse.
Finally, the italics are a little distracting. You'd be better off just doing it un-italics (is there a word for that?).
All in all this is a good start, and it ha a nice lyrical voice.
Points: 890
Reviews: 253
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